name change

Why did the girl changed her name from Shruti to Shraxis?.............Socho… kyun….. ???

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.Aur thoda socho....................................................... ............ .
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Ans: Because UTI bank is now Axis bank.

Tiger

Once Jusone and Justwo where on there way to the jungle and suddenly a tigers jumps infront of them, the tiger smell's Jusone and does not eat him but he eats Justwo with pleasure....
Now tell me why???
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because.............................
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No one can eat justone.

falling

Whats difference between a man jumping from 1st floor and a man jumping from10th floor?............


Former goes Dhaap AAAAAaaaaaaaaa
Later goes AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Dhaap

Leaving India

What will u call a person who is leaving India??
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Socho...............
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Hindustan Lever (Leaver)

Cube of 13

What is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR





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Wondering How?
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That's bcoz....
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TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

Auto mein admin

Ek baar ek aadmi ek auto mein baithta hai aur ghar le jaane ko bolta hai..
Autowala, yeh dekhkar ki aadmi sheher mein naya hai, bahut ghuma phira ke le jaata hai aur bahut charge kar deta hai.
Ghar pahunchte pahunchte bahut der ho jaati hai aur andhera ho jaata hai.
Aadmi pehle se hi bahut frustrated hai aur ghar jaake dekhta hai ki bijli nahi hai.
Par aadmi ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhayee deta hai.
Kaise???
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Kyonki autowala aadmi ko ULLOO bana deta hai aur usko raat ko sab kuch saaf saaf dikhta hai.

catch a lion

Newton's MethodLet, the lion catch you.For every action there is equal and opposite reaction. Implies you caught lion.
Einstein MethodRun in the direction opposite to that of the lion.Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.
Software Engineer MethodCatch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion. If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Indian Police MethodCatch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion.
Rajnikanth MethodKeep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Ramarajan MethodRemove the make-up and put it over lion. The lionwill die notwithstanding that heavy weight.
Jayalalitha MethodSend Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !
Manirathnam Method (director)Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
Karan Johar Method (director)Send a lioness into the forest. Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third) into the forest.You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont !
Yash Chopra method (director)Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
Govinda methodContinuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Menaka Gandhi methodsave the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
George Bush methodLink the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Ravi Shastri methodAsk the lion to bowl at u. U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run